IsiXhosa Fathering: The Intlawulo Effect

For an isiXhosa man, fatherhood isn't just about biology. It's a journey marked by a traditional custom called intlawulo. Intlawulo translates to "damages" and involves the father and his family acknowledging responsibility for a child born out of wedlock. It's more than a financial transaction; it's a formal process of seeking acceptance and building a relationship with the mother's family. Negotiations between families establish respect and pave the way for the father's involvement. Intlawulo signifies his commitment to the child's well-being and future. Fulfilling this obligation isn't just about financial support, but about taking his rightful place in the child's life. While some view intlawulo as outdated, its significance remains. It fosters a sense of accountability in fathers and strengthens the village it takes to raise a child. For the father, intlawulo becomes the bridge to becoming a true isiXhosa father - one who is present, respected, and an integral part of his child's upbringing.